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Dip Skateboard

April 26th, 2010 admin No comments

Dip Skateboard
Dip Skateboard
Whats wrong with my skateboard?

I just got my second skateboard 1 week ago which is an airwalk skateboard and ive been trying to do an ollie on it but i can only get it off the ground a tiny bit. on my old skateboard, which has less pop than my new one, i could get the board a tiny bit higher in the air than my new one. The whole reason i got the new board was because my old on didn’t have enough pop. The thing is that my old board was one of those cheap ones you would get from a supermarket (it was only £8) but my new one is a £80 skateboard. Ive noticed that my new board is curved so it dips in the middle but my old one is flat. Can i not do Ollie’s because i need to get used to the shape of the board or is it because of some other reason?
my board is a Airwalk Skateboard Sn 81 Pro. It is 31.5×7.75″ 7 ply canadian maple.

Assuming you really could ollie on your old board, it is probably just a matter of getting used to your new board. Every time I get a new deck I have to spend some time getting used to it. Very, very rarely do you get a brand new deck that immediately improves your trick-landing percentage. There’s a learning curve as you figure out how to modify your timing, etc. to do things on your new board that you used to have on lock with your old board.

By the way, I’m guessing that “dip in the middle” of the new board is what’s known as “concave.” It’s a good thing. You’ll learn to love it.

eBay Logo  

Natas kaupas skateboard SMA C&D purple dip bulldog art


Natas kaupas skateboard SMA C&D purple dip bulldog art


$102.60


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK-  7.75


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK- 7.75″ – DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.75


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck RED DIP


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck RED DIP


$89.95


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck WHITE DIP


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck WHITE DIP


$69.95


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck NAVY DIP


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck NAVY DIP


$89.95


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck BLACK DIP


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard Deck BLACK DIP


$84.95


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard KICKNOSE BLACK DIP


NOS Powell Peralta Steve Saiz TOTEM POLE Skateboard KICKNOSE BLACK DIP


$89.95


Skateboard Deck 7.75 full dip White


Skateboard Deck 7.75 full dip White


$13.99


Old School Powell Peralta Guerrero Feather Cliver Skateboard NOS Black Dip Deck


Old School Powell Peralta Guerrero Feather Cliver Skateboard NOS Black Dip Deck


$64.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK -  7.75


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 7.75″ – DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


Famous Stars and Straps Limited Edition Skateboard Deck w/ sleeve White Dip NOS


Famous Stars and Straps Limited Edition Skateboard Deck w/ sleeve White Dip NOS


$78.58


Famous Stars and Straps Limited Edition Skateboard Deck w/ sleeve Black Dip NOS


Famous Stars and Straps Limited Edition Skateboard Deck w/ sleeve Black Dip NOS


$78.58


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75″ – DIP YELLOW w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 - 7.63 WHITE DIP Skateboard DECKS


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 – 7.63 WHITE DIP Skateboard DECKS


$59.99


ALMOST Skateboards T-Shirt DIP STICK WHITE Size Large


ALMOST Skateboards T-Shirt DIP STICK WHITE Size Large


$9.99


ALMOST Skateboards T-Shirt DIP STICK BLACK Size Large


ALMOST Skateboards T-Shirt DIP STICK BLACK Size Large


$9.99


Alva Skates Tony Alva Dagger Tail AUTOGRAPHED Skateboard WHITE DIP


Alva Skates Tony Alva Dagger Tail AUTOGRAPHED Skateboard WHITE DIP


$119.95


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75″ RED DIP Skateboards


$21.98


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.75″ BLUE DIP Skateboards


$21.98


5 LiteZpeed SKATEBOARD 7.75 BLANK DECKS BLANKS DECK + GRIP TAPE Black Full Dip


5 LiteZpeed SKATEBOARD 7.75 BLANK DECKS BLANKS DECK + GRIP TAPE Black Full Dip


$52.22


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  8.5


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.5″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Moose Blank 7.5


Moose Blank 7.5″ Skateboard Deck (Dip Red)


$40.04


DVS Descendant Skate Board Shoe White/Black Dip Size 5.5


DVS Descendant Skate Board Shoe White/Black Dip Size 5.5


$33.24


Dogtown STONEFISH Skateboard Deck WHITE DIP


Dogtown STONEFISH Skateboard Deck WHITE DIP


$69.95


Lakai Howard Select Skate Board Shoe White/Black Dip Size 7


Lakai Howard Select Skate Board Shoe White/Black Dip Size 7


$33.24


Old School Powell Peralta Steve Saiz Feathers Totem Black Dip Skateboard Deck


Old School Powell Peralta Steve Saiz Feathers Totem Black Dip Skateboard Deck


$69.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK -  8.5


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 8.5″ – DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


GLOBE  24


GLOBE 24″ BANTAM DIP STICK COMPLETE RED


$99.95


GLOBE 24


GLOBE 24″ BANTAM DIP STICK COMPLETE GREEN


$99.95


GLOBE 24


GLOBE 24″ BANTAM DIP STICK COMPLETE BLACK


$99.95


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 - 7.5


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 – 7.5″ BLACK DIP Skateboard DECKS


$59.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5″ – DIP YELLOW w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS   7.5


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5″ DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK   -  7.5


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 7.5″ – DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  8.25


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK   -  8


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 8″ – DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS - 8


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS – 8″ – DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS - 8


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS – 8″ – DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  8.25


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK   7.5


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5″ – DIP PURP w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS - 8


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS – 8″ – DIP WHITE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  8.25


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK  -  7.5


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 7.5″ – DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK-  8.25


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK- 8.25″ – DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS   7.5


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS - 8


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS – 8″ – DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK -  8.25


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK – 8.25″ – DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS   7.5


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5″ DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 -8.25


BETTER MADE BLANKS: 5 -8.25″ BLACK DIP Skateboard DECKS


$59.99


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5″ DIP BLUE Skateboards


$21.98


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5


MOOSE Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 7.5″ DIP RED Skateboards


$21.98


THUNDER TRUCKS


THUNDER TRUCKS “Dip” T-Shirt Size XL (New with Tags Army/Black Skateboard Tee)


$17.99


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck WHT DIP w/Wheel Wells


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck WHT DIP w/Wheel Wells


$59.95


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.75


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DIP RED w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.75


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DIP BLUE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.63


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.75


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DIP BLACK w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.75


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DIP WHITE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK   8.0


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 8.0″ – DIP YELLOW w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  7.63


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63″ DIP WHITE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK   8.0


Blank SKATEBOARD DECK 8.0″ – DIP PURP w/Jessup Grip


$24.99


GLOBE Bantam Dip Stick Cruiser Green PLASTIC MOLD SKATEBOARD 24


GLOBE Bantam Dip Stick Cruiser Green PLASTIC MOLD SKATEBOARD 24″ x 7″


$99.95


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75 Deck +Grip


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75 Deck +Grip


$84.98


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.75″ DECK + Grip Tape


$44.98


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ DECK + Grip Tape


$44.98


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ Deck +Grip


$84.98


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63″ DECK + Grip Tape


$44.98


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5


4 New DIP BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5″ DECK + Grip Tape


$44.98


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63 Deck +Grip


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.63 Deck +Grip


$84.98


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5 Deck +Grip


8 DIP LiteZpeed BLANK SKATEBOARD DECKS 7.5 Deck +Grip


$84.98


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete 24


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete 24″ Cruiser Skateboard Longboard Choose Color


$89.99


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi MICRO HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck WHT DIP


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi MICRO HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck WHT DIP


$49.95


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck PNK DIP w/Wheel Wells


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck PNK DIP w/Wheel Wells


$59.95


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck YEL DIP w/Wheel Wells


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck YEL DIP w/Wheel Wells


$59.95


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Black/Clear Black 7x24 Skateboard Complete


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Black/Clear Black 7×24 Skateboard Complete


$79.99


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS  8.25


2 Blank SKATEBOARD DECKS 8.25″ DIP WHITE w/Jessup Grip


$39.99


Lakai Skateboarding Shoes Primo White Leather Dip Sz 11


Lakai Skateboarding Shoes Primo White Leather Dip Sz 11


$40.95


Lakai Skateboarding Shoes Primo White Leather Dip Sz 13


Lakai Skateboarding Shoes Primo White Leather Dip Sz 13


$40.95


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck BLK DIP w/Wheel Wells


Hosoi Skates Christian Hosoi OG HAMMERHEAD Skateboard Deck BLK DIP w/Wheel Wells


$59.95


Globe Bantam - Dip Sticks - Glow In The Dark  24


Globe Bantam – Dip Sticks – Glow In The Dark 24″ Cruiser Board BRAND NEW!


$146.96


Globe Bantam - Dip Sticks - Black/Black/Purple  24


Globe Bantam – Dip Sticks – Black/Black/Purple 24″ Cruiser Board BRAND NEW!


$126.92


Globe Bantam - Dip Sticks - Red/Red/Red 24


Globe Bantam – Dip Sticks – Red/Red/Red 24″ Cruiser Board BRAND NEW!


$126.92


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Black/Clear Black 7x24 Skateboard Complete


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Black/Clear Black 7×24 Skateboard Complete


$98.95


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Green/Clear Green 7x24 Skateboard Complete


GLOBE Bantam Cruiser Dip Sticks Green/Clear Green 7×24 Skateboard Complete


$98.95


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard - Green


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard – Green


$99.99


All Globe Completes come fully assembled and ready to ride right out of the box….

Globe Bantam Cruiser Complete ( sz. 06.5, Black/Black/Clear Black )


Globe Bantam Cruiser Complete ( sz. 06.5, Black/Black/Clear Black )


$99.87


Bantam Cruiser complete by Globe. Deck: 6.5″ x 23.75″. Slant trucks. Globe 62mm, 83A wheels. Globe Abec 7 bearings. Globe hardware. Globe griptape. Imported….

Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard - Red


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard – Red


$77.00


All Globe Completes come fully assembled and ready to ride right out of the box….

Von Zipper Frosteez Luna Sunglasses Plooble Dip / Kosmic Chrome


Von Zipper Frosteez Luna Sunglasses Plooble Dip / Kosmic Chrome


$88.80


9 out of 10 cosmonauts agree that the Luna is the center of the sunglass universe and there is no escaping its gravitational pull….

Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard


Globe Bantam Dip Stick Complete Skateboard




Skateboard


Skateboard


$10


Skateboard

Dip


Dip


$4.49


Dip

Skateboard Rulez


Skateboard Rulez


$10


Skateboard Rulez

Skateboard Aerial


Skateboard Aerial


$6


Skateboard Aerial

Dip It!


Dip It!


$11.99


Next time you party, try a dip. Or two. Or three. Rick Rodgers, renowned cooking teacher and cookbook author shares 95 of his favorite dip recipes in his new book, Dip It! Of course there’s the classic onion soup mix, but why not make Rick’s updated recipe with onions? For a Super Bowl or tailgating party, you’ll score big with bowls of tortilla chips served up with meaty Hot Beef and Pinto Bean Chili Dip. There are plenty of vegetarian spreads, too. Scoop wedges of pita into Moroccan Eggplant and Tomato Dip. The Faux Cheese Fondue will be a hit with cheese lovers. Rick also offers plenty of lighter dips such as the Two-Alarm Salsa or Three-Bean Salsa. Need an elegant dip for a special occasion? Try the Pesto Mascarpone or the silky smooth Double Salmon Dip. And many of these dips do double duty—use them to bring a little something extra to your sandwiches. And what’s homemade dip without crunchy, crispy dippers? There are recipes for homemade versions of Potato Chips, Herbed Breadsticks, Tortilla Chips, and much more. Also included is a complete list of vegetable dippers that will add snap and color to your table. Rick also offers lots of helpful entertaining tips from do-ahead recipes to creative dip holders. So have a party. Take a dip with Dip It!

Skateboard Keychains


Skateboard Keychains


$4.99


Skateboard Keychains (8)

The Dip


The Dip


$10.99


The old saying is wrong-winners do quit, and quitters do win. Every new project (or job, or hobby, or company) starts out exciting and fun. Then it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point-really hard, and not much fun at all. And then you find yourself asking if the goal is even worth the hassle. Maybe you’re in a Dip-a temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing. But maybe it’s really a Cul-de-Sac, which will never get better, no matter how hard you try. According to bestselling author Seth Godin, what really sets superstars apart from everyone else is the ability to escape dead ends quickly, while staying focused and motivated when it really counts. Winners quit fast, quit often, and quit without guilt-until they commit to beating the right Dip for the right reasons. In fact, winners seek out the Dip. They realize that the bigger the barrier, the bigger the reward for getting past it. If you can become number one in your niche, you’ll get more than your fair share of profits, glory, and long-term security. Losers, on the other hand, fall into two basic traps. Either they fail to stick out the Dip-they get to the moment of truth and then give up-or they never even find the right Dip to conquer. Whether you’re a graphic designer, a sales rep, an athlete, or an aspiring CEO, this fun little book will help you figure out if you’re in a Dip that’s worthy of your time, effort, and talents. If you are, The Dip will inspire you to hang tough. If not, it will help you find the courage to quit-so you can be number one at something else. Seth Godin doesn’t claim to have all the answers. But he will teach you how to ask the right questions.

My Auntie Went to Fatima and All I Got Was This Lousy Tee-shirt!

It’s been awhile since I sat down and tapped out one of these articles…..

I have been a little bit busy and distracted, running around the Iberian Peninsula.

It was a wonderful, if not slightly surreal, three and a half weeks and, like every occasion when I take off to somewhere new, I learned invaluable life-lessons and aspects about myself that I previously had not realised.

For starters, I have come to sadly accept the fact that I am possibly the worst haggler in the universe (“75 Euros? Ok Mr Wise guy Street Vendor; I’ll take TWO for 150!!!”).  I have also concluded that when travelling in a foreign land, it is wise to perhaps brush up on the basic essentials of the native tongue.  Specifically, the basic “beverage-ordering” vernacular. I think I may have walked away from Spain leaving many a bartender scratching their heads, considering I would quite often stride into a bar and confidently bark “Un Vino Pinto Por Favor!!”

 Invariably, a large glass of red would appear in front of me, so I did start to think that my Espanola was pretty crash hot.  However, after a week or so of this, while dining in a restaurant in Lisbon with friends who were far more fluent, it was tactfully pointed out to me that if I wanted to order a Merlot, it was probably more prudent to say “Un Vino TINTO “.

As it turns out, the word “Pinto” does not mean red, but rather “small penis” in some dialects in Spanish.

                               

This would explain the initial expressions of confusion on the Maître D’s face, followed a by a less than subtle smirk as he would emerge with my drink, quite often in a phallic-shaped vessel. (Note to Ford Company – this just MAY be the reason why your new compact car was not flying out of the lots in Venezuela.)

So, apart from these minor hiccups, the adventure cruised along surprisingly incident-free.  

When you travel through Europe for an extended period of time, you do tend to acquire a little bit of Cathedral-Fatigue. The architecture is stunning, breath-taking, don’t get me wrong. However, after visiting approximately one thousand and eight of them, in a twenty-four hour period, you do find yourself (a little guiltily) longing to see an outdoor dunny, circa Queensland 1955…just for a change of pace.

This brings me to a funny incident in Fatima.

For those of you who know me well, I am not the most devout individual in the neighbourhood. I do suspect that a man named Jesus Christ walked the Earth at some point and he might have even performed some pretty groovy tricks to amaze the masses like feeding them lots of fish and wine (Vino Tinto perhaps?) however, there is nowhere in the Bible that says he could make a double gorgonzola and Roquefort soufflé rise successfully – which is the CONSUMATE miracle in my books.

                                  

At any rate, Fatima is a sleepy little town about an hour north of Lisbon in Portugal.  It is world-renowned and welcomes hundreds of thousands of visitors every year. When you drive into the town, it doesn’t strike you as particularly astonishing. The houses are small and whitewashed and the tone of the downtown area is remarkably tame.

As I discovered, Fatima’s claim to fame is that allegedly, back in 1917, three young shepherds were standing around, minding their own business, when the Virgin Mary dropped in to deliver a message of faith and goodwill.

As you can imagine, this turn of events was probably a little bit disconcerting for the shepherds.  Imagine standing in a field up to your knees in sheep dip, when a holy apparition appears from nowhere to say “G’day”. I am sure they would have appreciated some advance notice, so at least they could put the kettle on and pull out the Iced VoVos.

The Virgin Mary then proceeded to keep popping in and out for the next few months (one can only wonder if she ever chose an inappropriate time to stick her head in. “Hey!? Whoa Lady… Give me a minute…I’m just on the can here!”) And as a result, Fatima now boasts one of the most visited and revered Basilicas in the world.

The memorial is quite spectacular, even by this little agnostic’s standards. It stands before a large paved courtyard, in blinding white and gold. A large imposing crucifix, at least 3 stories high, graces the other end of the paved area, and connecting both in a square is a smooth granite walkway.  From a distance, I thought I espied a large group of dwarves walking the perimeter of this concrete field, but ..r inspection, it turned out to be several people, on their knees, inching around the grounds.

The look on my face must have said it all, as one of the guides turned to me and explained “They are showing their reverence to the Virgin Mary. People travel from all over the globe to walk on their knees up and back from the monument for penance and to show respect”. 

I looked again at a young woman who, from the pinched expression on her face, may well have been thinking a holiday in the Bahamas would have been a better idea, and noticed she was wearing heavy knee-pads for the stroll.  The guide nudged me again and indicated to my left. There was a large sign outside a cloakroom “KNEE PAD HIRE 20 EURO”. And here I was thinking she had jumped straight off her skateboard to join in the fun.

                                

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any stranger, I passed the candle offering area – a large trough where you could purchase and burn candles for prayer. Seemed straightforward enough, until I realised that these were not your everyday candles.

None of those long, tubular white varieties here.

Suffering from a broken leg? Here! Taken one of these shin-shaped candles. Bit of indigestion lately? No worries, offer up this small intestine candle and you’ll be right in no time.  I’m sorry to see you have a freakishly large nose. Light up one of these proboscis bad-boys and see what comes out in the wash. You have genital warts? I see….

Sorry, ran out of that brand at the pub last Friday night.

Funnily enough, I also failed to locate a candle to cure cynicism…

I jest, but it is quite an architectural marvel to behold, and if the sheer numbers of people who visit here every year find some comfort, then it is a worthy place.

One more thing must be said here though. ……

Apart from being one of the biggest Basilicas in the world, it ALSO boasts perhaps the biggest holy Gift-Shop I have ever seen.  As part of your pilgrimage to the Basilica, you are obliged to stop in and have a browse around what can be only described as Opus Dei-Mart.

Forty-five aisles of statues of Mary, Joseph, Jesus…(and Jesus’ lesser know 2nd cousin Gary)… you can buy the pocket sized figurines to the 120 kilogram life-like models…wherever your holy mood takes you.

There were red-light specials on plastic baptismal fonts, and 50% off chocolate crucifixes (for 400 € you TOO can look like Cardinal Maximus IIIVVV in sexy purple velvet robes…sceptres sold separately). Not to be ignored were the rows upon rows of statuettes of the Virgin Mary in Caucasian, Asian and African-American appearance for every ethnic need. On your way out of the check-out there is a priest on-hand for any last minute blessings on your purchases. When he is not there (like the day we visited) there is a Do-It-Yourself-Blessing font of holy water that you can splash around willy-nilly (but preferably not on the paper copies of “Miraculous Visage of Jesus in Margarine”).

I bought a tee-shirt sporting a picture of Lord Jesus in a pair of boardshorts for my baby niece, whom I hope will appreciate the gesture …and the irony when she is a little older.

                      

The most hilarious thing I experienced during this memorable visit was overhearing a husband and wife arguing over the fact that she wanted to send home forty pound clay set of the Nativity. When hubby complained, she snapped back indignantly “You can’t put a price on faith!”

Well…apparently you can….and it is three thousand Euros including VAT.

The Lord Almighty happily accepts VISA, MasterCard and AMEX as well….

It’s all part of the fun of travelling…..

As St Augustine aptly wrote:

The World is a book, and those who do not travel only read one page…

Tune in next time, when I’ll tell you all about a certain Moroccan in Pajamas…who bit my shoulder and called me a Communist!

About the Author

Kylie is a well travelled free-lance writer who has been published in several magazines in Australia and the United States including “Honestly Woman” and “Third Coast Marketing”.

Come on in..sit down and enjoy…bring your prescription drugs if necessary.

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